Because the 13th century can’t even.
“Kim, your cloak is so cute. Where’d you get it?”
“After careful consideration, I think Dan smells fine.”
Sole dissenter: side-eye.
“Trying out this new blue robe because I hate looking like we shop in the same linen closet.”
Everybody else: side-eye.
“Imma let you finish but …”
Man on the left: side-eye.
“I already told Heather she could borrow my dress halo, but you guys could rock-paper-scissors.”
“The dove has definitely pooped.”
“But Tiffany and Brett’s mom lets them play with dead birds.”
Virgin mother: side-eye.
“Short straw goes and gets the bagels. That was the deal.”
Un. Repentant. Side-eye.
“The invitation said gifts optional.”
Spot the side-eye.
“Leslie, I know you’re the one who burnt my favorite pair of rainbow wings. Look me in the side-eye when you lie to me.”
“Your hat looks so much like a moldy bread basket it’s not even funny.”
“Oh my God, thank you. Your hair is so oily it’s like you just jumped out of the pool.”
“Stop. Thank you.”
“Mmm, yes, this is the best Snuggie I’ve ever worn.”
Snuggie man: side-eye.
Guilty as thine side-eye.
“Jordan, my reptilian tail won’t hurt you. I promise.”
“Girl, I can’t even with this mermaid business.”
“Ethan, you’re going the wrong way. Ethan, you’re clearly facing the opposite direction as everyone else. Ethan, I swear to God, Ethan.”
It’s piffero day in music class and Bobby Blueshirt can. not. even. Side-eye.
“Honey, you’re a skeleton. I have no time for your skeleton shenanigans. Read my side-eye and sit your skeleton self down.”
“Unicorn, you’re so tiny. I don’t believe you.”